old and new things

Days are going quickly now, and I'm getting ready for the day in the park. Veronica is going to have a booth, and we will sell beadwork and necklaces that I made from things from my trip to Arizona-they are turning out nicely and I am pleased. I have woven two shawls and that is so relaxing.

It is a summer for learning-adapting to change. Always I have loved the outside-hated the inside. This summer I hate to go outside. The evenings were when my partner and I used to sit outside and contemplate the wonders-make plans and talk about the old times. At last I discovered that it isn't the lonesomeness as much as the feeling of being so small in the world now. How I once loved the remoteness of our home-the luxury of sitting outside and not seeing another human being. Now I prefer to go inside my cocoon and pull the walls in around me. Maybe now that I understand it I can deal with it. I grieve the losses, and I find the future. I mourn the loss of friendships who thought I wanted more than friendships but am learning to stand alone. The deaths that encircle the reservation bring to mind how little we actually have in our lives that matters and I find myself ready to go home. The visit from Texas won't happen and I don't care. The little Christian children and their little Christian mother have nothing to be gained from a trip here-I have nothing to give them. My soul is empty and I find myself wondering about the Creator at times, not from my own plight of course, but for the plight of those around me, the children, the fact that there is no childhood on the reservation. To see three Marines in full dress uniform all crying for their cousin won't be forgotten. The father who buries his last remaining child -how does he go on? Where is the light? We all come in surrounded by people, and we all go out alone with the walls pulled up around us.

old and new things

trip photos

Val and the tour, and restored equipment.

THe mythical 22 Plains Drive-

Powder River Pass, saw Elk and many deer, the creeks were bank to bank and Meadowlark lake still had ice on it.

The Wool Mill

Yesterday was my trip to Buffalo. Found the map site on the Internet and took my Tom Tom with me. I had boxed up wool and more wool. Monday night I got it loaded in the pickup-stuffing bags around the boxes where there was room. I was exhausted when I got done-absolutely exhausted. I planned to pick up my friend in Riverton at 7;30 and head out. I awoke at 5 and after coffee and chores I was ready, to we left a little earlier than first planned. The ride was beautiful-a great day to travel and pretty scenery over Powder River Pass. I had forgotten to charge Tom up on my computer and couldn't get him to turn on for me, so we were on our own with the Internet map to find 22 Plains Drive. Sounds so easy. Maps aren't my thing as E-W-N-S- are just illusions in the mind-illusions that I don't have. My Girlfriend and I have learned that we have no pride about asking directions, but she also volunteered that it is best never to ask directions from a resident of the town, as they usually have no idea about addresses, streets or places. That proved true-and after many stops and turns we found a U S Post Office carrier stopped at a group of mailboxes. HURRAH! Yes! We were within a block of it-and laughed when we found Plains Drive to be a street about 500 years long with a brand new sign, in a brand new addition in town. Okay! By then it was noon and I was hoping I didn't have to unload all that wool that I had loaded by myself. We were met at the door by Sadie, a beautiful old border collie and right away I knew it was a good place! Sadie's owner helped us, and Val gave us the grand tour. Those gals have been all over the world getting parts and pieces and then putting things together. NO-they are not fully up and running yet, but yes-they are getting it going and they have my support. Two highly intelligent and hard working women-harnessing their children for summer labor and using resources from the university and expertise from all over are getting it done. They were able to show me some finished product, both the good and the bad and then share with me their future dreams for expansion as well. And so helpful for my projects and my dreams, giving me places and people and resources to go to for information and help. It was good to be around such energy-have been basking in 80 year old energy and it seemed to be refreshing to be around 40 year old energy and vitality. I left my wool and they will get started, just a bit at a time-it suits me.

Then off to Sheridan to the Veterans Hospital so Norma could see Jim. Just a short jaunt and we were there. The hospital is on beautiful grounds, and what a view. It is on the site of an old fort and even at that there is a feeling of peacefulness when you drive up there. Jim's building is large, and he is on the second floor. We found him at the nurses station, and he brightened to see Norma. Took him to the sun room for a visit, and I was surprised to find Norma had a hard time visiting with him. She can visit with anybody about anything, but it was very hard for her. She brought pictures to share with him and he was interested and tried to visit-I tried to visit as well but it was awkward. It is easier for me to see Rasty, as I just ramble on about what is happening in my life and farm life, but I see him much more often as well. The staff are good, sweet girls and very young but responsible. Residents were clean and fairly tidy, the place smelled good. The dining room is great-all in all it is a good place. Jim got up to leave with us, or he tried to get up. Too sad-life is hard. We started home, through Casper, and having thoughts of perhaps staying there for the night, found ourselves home before dark.

On the home front,I was surprised to find the Llamas in the corral with the sheep. They have been snots recently about coming in at night. Called Janet to see how she managed that trick, say thanks and tell her I was home. Guy answered the phone, and had run the sheep and llamas in with his 4 wheeler and his dog. Newah was knocked over in the gate and walked on, but she was fine this morning and the first one out-the old leader. Why do cowboys always have to be cowboys? Just open the gate, stand back, and close the gate. Why do I always have to find something to bitch about? It was nice of the kids to put the sheep in for me.

Perhaps Guy will get his beans in today-got some of the ditches ready to go . I didn't see any beans or beets on the trip-that country used to be all beets years ago. The prospects of water still look good with lots of snowpack on the Wind River's.