Where are we now?

Maybe it is time to take stock now-nearly a year after my sweet husband went to the nursing home. In the last year I have learned who to cry by myself without someone there to tell me it will be okay- I have learned that a person only needs to eat once in awhile, only when they are really hungry and only when it sounds good. I have learned that a person can go forever without being lonesome, and how much better off a person is when they find their true friends. I have learned that family is only from the heart-and the best family are those who are choosen. I know that there are many with much greater trials than I face, and they will be okay, so I will too. I have had my words mistaken for other things and it was costly-so I choose my words more carefully now-I have learned how very much I need and love my Ethete friends, and how closely I am associated with "the cheifs" and how fortunate I am to have that association. I have learned the difference between the meaning of the words friend, neighbor, child, acquaintance, caregiver and "someone who lives down the road". In that knowledge I am so much richer, for there are many paths that I will follow in a different way in possessing that knowledge. As my husband is forgotten by many now, so am I and it is a good thing. My memory is suddenly as short as his memory is-and that too is a good thing.


I have learned to be selfcentered, and that is perhaps one of the hardest things-but it is for the purpose of only survival that I practice it. I try not to disappoint myself, not to limit myself and sometimes to be kind to myself. Amazed at my own strengths and miserable in my weaknesses, I know them now.

Yesterday we installed coats on the girls, and they are pleased. THe ones who are special, and the ones who are REALLY special are looking forward to a happpy and prosperous lambing, with 5 lambs already on the ground and more to come soon. THe garn is in tip top shaps with windows installed and electricity as well. Bring it on!

Earrings are selling faster than I can make them-they went to the mats for my turtles-horses are gone, maidens are gone-bear tracks are gone-only thing remaining is kokopelli's- (how to get a baby)-they must go on ebay.

Carding and making roving is fun-hope we get the grant for spinning, but will learn anyway as Avis is super and so good to me-my dad would be so pleased-is so pleased I know. How I miss him for he, in a few words would always make everything allright.