Getting used to the sunshine

THe snow is falling in the Wind RIver Mountains today. My heart, however, is getting used to sunshine. I deeply miss my lifetime partner-no doubt about it, but I am also learning that my new found freedom is amazing. Just to go to the lamb barn and listen to the sounds-something that I have always loved to do-without wondering what is going on in the house in my absence is such a relief. My girlfriend is well schooled on having fun on no funds at all-and she is teaching me where to go for the greatest lunches on what days-where all the old farts hang out-who coffies where and the only thing we haven't done yet is go to the food bank! Yesterday we went to the casino for "senior Tuesday" and I found the largest gathering of blue hairs that I have ever seen at one time in one place. Of course, I was the youngest one there-he he-she called last night to plan our trip to Deadwood South Dakota in March on the bus for $69.00-rooms, meals and all. If we play our cards right we can use our senior Tuesday $5.00 for spending money when we get there.

I went to the first care conference for my husband at the nursing home yesterday, and he is getting along well. He has setteled in better than any of us expected, and is happy most of the time. THe staff is great with him, especially one gal who used to play at the ranch as a child. She knows how to redrect him just right. All the lights are slowly going off now and he is very medicated for calmness but did greet me with "Hi sheepherder" when he saw me yesterday. I had to laugh because he is enjoying the enviornment that is 70 percent female. They asked me at the conference if he was the kind of man who always pulled a chair out for a lady-WHAT?????It is strange to have him wearing sweat pants instead of levis, and tennis shoes with velcro ties instead of cowboy boots but he is confortable. He has lost 4 pounds in the time he has been there so I am thinking that I will take treats in occasionally. They said it would be okay, so I will make enough for all and it will be fun. I don't go there often-twice a week max-which I think is enough as I am busy here on the place and hoping that the children stop by occasionally as well.

It is strange to get used to myself as a partner-so I talk to myself all the time, and usually answer myself as well. I am an attentive listener, and can always hear what myself says, but don't always agree. But myself is used to that, and deals well with conflict for the most part. THe biggest decision myself makes now is what to eat and when-except, of course, for my lunch dates with my girlfriend-I can handle it.