The ups and the downs

Life is just a big mix of emotions now-I must get a direction and go for it! The sheep are keeping me busy enough, with the errands and the year end business to finish. I had only visited my partner once, and just couldn't find it in my heart to face him so yesterday it was off to visit. I found him smiling, and glad to see someone-for about two minutes, then he was off! He spent most of the time I was there walking around his new home as well as pushing the other residents around the room. It was the first time I had seen him in the light that I saw him in yesterday. He was so very disconnected, and I wondered if he had also been at home and I hadn't been able to see it. He had no idea who anyone was, nor did he care. His own world seemed to be absorbed by wheels -wheels on carts and wheels on chairs. He had scored new shoes-well-sort of new-tennis shoes of all things, and needed a shave again. I took him a picture book that I had made for him with his favorite people and things, which he didn't look at but I put it in the closet for him-perhaps later. As he was walking away from me I called him by name, loud enough that he had to hear, just to see if he knew his name. He did turn around after a bit and look at me.

The house is quiet, and I must admit that I am enjoying it. Jessie is somewhat lost, but she had become afraid of Rasty as he did strange things to her, moving her around and causing her to cry out from time to time. She is at my feet constantly, going from roon to room looking mournful. I am cleaning things, and have found $66.00 to date, some of it in a box of 270 shells. Time is passing, and I am okay. Lonesome? Yes. No longer worried though, I'll go on.

Friends have been wonderful, and even Rasty's sister-in-laws have checked in, after a few toddies-but have been supportive. Guy and Janet are on board and Hollis is just the greatest. I must do something super for him-as he goes above and beyond. THe old lady that we lease from called, and we had a great visit. Said she would go with me for another 10 years, as her last lease with Rasty was for 10 years as well and ends this year. I remember that day she and Rasty did the lease ten years ago and wonderred where they would be in ten years. Seems like yesterday. At least Anita is good.

Just one new set of twins since my last post, one black and one white ewe lamb. THey are precious.