social life

At the center of my new social life is the nursing home. We are family, in a very very strange way. At any rate-one can't help but laugh. One day there was a new man at the front couch-he had a white sketch pad and a black pen-on the pad was the most amazing collage of work-like a Bev Dolittle work, a thousand lines, all making tiny scenes of every imaginable thing. There were lions, bears, faces, fairies, sea shells all incorporated in what looked at first glance like doodling. I was fascinated and stopped for a visit. He explained to me in a very east coast accent that he was once the head layout designer for a magazine publisher. He couldn't remember why he came to Wyoming, but he did try to tell me his story. I grabbed what bits and pieces I could and couldn't wait to hear the next chapter. Upon my return the next day I brought him a huge package of pens, all colors. He was sitting in "his spot" (the residents are very territorial)-pen in hand. I gave him the package of pens to which he replied he just wanted one-dark blue, brown or black. Okay. I opened the package up and gave him one(I should have known that more than one would confuse the issue)-my mistake. Then he sadly exclaimed that he had lost his pad. Rats! I made a mental note to get him a new pad and upon my next return he had found his pad and pen and had nearly finished his work. I noticed a date at the bottom, May 13, 2008. He was very sick, coughing and saying that there was a terrible burning when he coughed, I hope he gets better and can tell me more of his story. What an amazing bit of his mind he has left-where did the rest of his mind go-and how did he get here?

Missed a party that I had been looking forward to for so long-a send off party for Tianna Redman. The make a wish foundation is sending her and the family to Disney World in Orlando. Tianna and her family are among my personal heroes and I had the invitation out on the table for two weeks, r s v p'd last week and polished my shoes. Last night I took off to the party at 5:30-no party at Tony's Pizza, went to the Pizza Hut-only one person there-I didn't ask. Called the family on the cell and Tom said he thought it was the 30th. OHMYGOSH! All dressed up and nowhere to go I went to the SHoshoni Rose Casino. My second mistake. Eventually I looked around at the other souls there and decided that they didn't look any richer that I did, and came home. First thing I grabbed the invitation-the party was at the Pizza Hut last night at 7:00. My clock said 8:00-the neighbors probably heard me cuss-and worst of all-I am the only one to blame. Where is my mind-and when will it come back? So right things from the casino-I mowed my lawn today. Been going to find a helper but I am ashamed of spending my helper money at the casino so I bit the bullet and did it. The mower is so good-fired right off after a little care. The lawn is miserable with only a tiny bit of grass, but it does look better. It is wonderful to see Wyoming green-it is a pretty color!

Tianna is my tiny friend who spent over a year in Denver on dialysis, awaiting a kidney transplant. She finally got her new kidney and is now doing well, although she faces lots of other problems. Her family worked tirelessly to keep them alive in Denver and find enough money for the surgeries she needed. Her auntie sold truck fulls of Indian Tacos and Fried bread-she rented the Kiwanis trailer and went all around the county selling. They held rummage sales and bake sales, raffles and drawings for three years. One day I asked Punky (auntie to Tianna) when she was going to quit selling tacos and she said "When Tianna gets her kidney". Sadly, Punky lost her son, his funeral is tomorrow and Tianna and the family are leaving right after the service. He was an organ donor and over 50 people will be helped by the donations. Tianna has made a big difference in so many lives.

The Holiday

Hard to believe it is Memorial day already. The winter has been so long, but the holiday itself seemed to hurry and get here. I decided I needed a plan-usually it is to the cemetery with flowers. That is not my thing, and has never been my thing but was what was done on Memorial day. I think there is nothing in the cemetery except stones and crosses and sad people-I believe in taking flowers to alive people who can smell them and enjoy them. This year I had already decided no flowers-and I decided that quickly but had no other plan for the weekend. It is okay-plenty of work to be done and only me to get busy is all I need-but then-the telephone rang. YES! A friend with a plan. You see, she said, she got a car key in the mail, and needed to go to Casper and pick up her car-the one the key fit. Wanna go with? You bet-showered and dressed in 3 minutes, threw the sheep out of the corral and ran to the road with my wet hair streaming behind me, buttoning my shirt on the way! Then-I realized I was traveling with a 75 year old-oops, change gears just a little bit, hit second and slow down. Okay-to get gas, to get breakfast, to get pop, to air up a tire and then-=we're on the way. I was ready to hit the second hand stores about the time we found the car dealership-the key didn't fit but we had a wonderful visit with the nice man and my friend , who had described her desire for a new car as an "obsession" consoled herself when she got the gas mileage of the new car computed in her head. Then, she suggested we eat lunch before we went to Hobby Lobby- sure. We ate a wonderful leisurely lunch, visited Hobby Lobby and headed back to the rez. It was a wonderful day-and I must admit it was fun to go 75 year old speed instead of my run to the thrift stores speed. I also remembered that Casper is just down the road a piece and I can find it and I can go again. My friend is a delight-very nontraditional Arapaho who spent most of her life married to a nonindian but raised by one of the most traditional mothers on the reservation. She now teaches the language to the high schools and commands their respect with only a look of the eye. She is masterful at what she does, and has taught me much about unconditional love of children and family. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her this summer and this day was one to remember! Thanks Annette!

Heard a song

Jumped out of bed in good shape this morning-being too tired to do anything alse after we got the sheep done yesterday. As I was making my coffee a new song came on the radio- "Blood is thicker than water, Love is thicker than blood". How true that is for me as I am so blessed to have the friends that I do. What a wonderful bunch of folks, little and BIG, young and not so young, all helping an any way they could and laughing and working together. The shearers immediately brightened up when they saw my adopted daughter, she is Arapaho, just knowing she was the love of their lives. Their command of the English language got so much better as well, with lots of smiles and grins thrown in. They wouldn't have believed that those great big boys in the barn with them were her sons-and she forgot to tell them. She is so tired of the rigors of education, and I told her it was her chance to see the world and travel, but she was on her way to WIES this morning again with a new enthusiasm. What dear sweet boys the shearers were, trying their best to get by on what they could-glad that we got the time to let them feel welcome. My friends, my wonderful friends were so great, I had to look for a job because all the working spots were filled. And what a joy the kids were, Isiah so unsure of himself and trying to be himself, and Woordow-who darn well knows who he is and loves beig who he is. Rachael is so enjoyable in her presence, a traditional Navajo if there ever was one-a stunning beauty like an old portrait. Mia is 300 pounds of smile makes him a gentle Ben-always there for me. Lynda is a powerhouse, making my ideas of life as it is much closer to reality. She if stuffed with kindness and acceptance, always able to get a job done. Skip is just happpy-like the dwarfs, he is the happy dwarf-and the busy dwarf. Loves to do embroidery when not busy with other things, and does it well! HOllis is just smooth-one of those guys who only has good clothes, no chore clothes. He can be in the middle of a pig pen with his good clothes on, get the piglets all cared for, and leave the pig pen without a drop of pig pooh on him. How does he do it? Always on top of the jobs to be done, never with a wrinkle in his shirt! Hollis enjoyed the kids-loved Woodrow and thank heavens, is always ready to help me. THen there is Steve, my firend Steve. He is the only one I know that can completely sum up an entire situation with one sentence and be right on task. He can also take a photo that can sum up a situation with one shot! He is an educator, and always teaches me something about life with his presence. His wisdom is great, his cheerfulness is abouding and his friendship is so appreciated. He sees the goodness in everyone-is as kind to the shearers as he is to the Florida rich guys. Thanks Steve, for being you.

So here I am, with only one blood relative within 1200 miles-singing "Blood is thicker than water, love is thicker than blood.". Thank you GOd!

it is getting to be tomorrow

Seems like one puts their head under their wing and just pulls back from everything for awhile, and that is what I have been doing. It is now time to get the eyes open and the ears waxhed out and get busy. I have just been puttering-not getting anything done and walking around my mess while the clock ticks by. This morning I think I can get with the program and get myself busy at the things that I can do. I awoke with a new heart-still many things not resolved but I will fix what I can, not fix what I can't, and try to find the wisdom to know the difference-isn't that what we are supposed to do? I'm excited about my new endeavors and wanting to get on with them. Hoping to put together something with my wool and the sheep are doing all they can to cooperate with the business. They are the best, and the llamas are doing their best as well, Jessie is my constant companion and the kids outside are my entertainment-what more could anyone want? SUmmer on the reservation is fun and I plan to have some. Talk about blessed, yes! I am blessed -every day brings something special in the way of golden!

Welcome home gingerbread woman.

To say the trip was great just doesn't do it-it was spectacular. Not enough time but it was wonderful. The biggest challenge we faced was getting out of the great state of Wyoming, got 125 miles from home and met with road closures every direction. The next morning, with help from my good friend ( in Florida) we were directed out by way of Utah, and what a relief it was. Found happy people and good food, great sights and sheep too! Love that country and am planning the next trip there already.

Found home in great shape-thanks Hollis, and Rasty was improved as well. Thanks Veronica, for her vigil at the nursing home. The lambs grew while I was gone and nobody missed me but the bum lamb-just because I was the one holding the bottle. I am so lucky to have folks around to lend a hand and do it so well.

The farm ground is plowed, and the beans are on their way. Interesting-we'll see.

Went to a wake for a reservation friend, a quiet and sickly fellow, but so very kind. I was struck by how much older all my friends looked-it has been so long since I have seen some of them, and the time has taken it's toll on them. In a place where the average life span is so much shorter than the norm, it seems to be visible by the day. How very sad. My friend was 40-same age as my daughter. He will be missed. THe hardest thing to happen would be to outlive one of your children and his folks were taking it hard.

we're on our way

All we know is that we're on our way. Norma and I are headed south, south , south tomorow morning. Scottsdale is the end point, to Norma's brothers house for a visit. SHe is 75, he is 80 so it may be the last hurrah but at any rate, we're gonna do it. My partner is so not aware, and Hollis is ready to do the sheep/farm chores for me. I have absolutely no business doing this, and will worry about the girls the whole time, but it might be good to see new horizons for a few days. The winter has been so long, and as I write new snow is beginning to fall here. I hope to check out the wool mill in Taos, and the Tuba City weaving museum. Perhaps check out the Navajo looms as well, and eat some fresh vegetables-lots of them!

Hopefully this will help me with my new direction, and get me off my duff-life has been too easy and I have slipped into a do nothing frame of mind that scares me sometimes. I am kind of like Jessie -just wander from room to room, lying low and looking sad. It is time to quit that and get on with things-whatever they may be.

I have found a used loom and have some videos and books coming from ebay on the subject and in the meantime have lots of beadwork to ebay when I get home. I'll also check out the pawn shops down south-the best shoping ever is there. Norma is good at the thrift stores as well so that should be fun. Her brother is a sport and a nice guy-she and I went to Denver to visit him years ago and it was a great trip. I have a TomTom to tell me "turn around" and a thermos for coffee. I bought a "girl jack" to change a tire if I need to-I have always been so afraid of handy man jacks-I got a handy woman jack at Lintons. Looks painless and the price was right. I"m off to hunt up the suitcase, otherwise it is the giant trash bag! UGH!

We'll try the new post one more time

DIdn't get off the ground last time I tried to post-we'll try again. At the Riverton hospital once again, dehydration and pneumonia, as well as whatever that new bug is that everyone has in hospitals and nursing homes. As it is, we are in quarantine (I don't know how to spell that) but it means gowns and gloves. My partner is unable to get up and out of bed, but able only to cuss and fight at top speed. The nurses all ask what he used to do before he got sick-part of me wants to tell them that he was a Baptist preacher-a state senator, had his own radio talk show where he diagnosed peoples sex problems- a florist-I can think of all sorts of responses to the question. I say-rancher and they say-GIvens-oh yes- Britt's dad?

I've been at odds with everyone for poor care, and in some cases too much care, and have decided the only way to handle it is to wait till he gets dismissed from the hospital and get set up to do hospice at the house. His good doctor is only on staff at the nursing home and the Lander Hospital and we are at RIverton with a Mexican doctor who is 21 and gave me a 3 minute crash course on the disease-yeah-right. She quickly explained to me that he could last 1-2 years as his heart is strong- but he has basically quit eating-will take a few bites only to spit or blow the food out after that. Hospice promises help and I have two ladies who are also agreeable to help-our little educated doctor can't seem to see the hand righting on the wall or refuses to look. Hospice has told me that the thing to say is "comfort care only"but at that point the hospital will refuse service and discharge immediately. dr. MIller is on board with me and my plans and will discharge from the nursing home to our house when I am ready. Hollis has promised to help with the sheep-which are low care now-and I left a sign-up sheet at the hospital for the kids (yeah-right). Janet has pledged her support but only to help me, not to help with her father-in-law- and I respect that and I am in agreement with it. SHe loves him dearly and I don't want her to have to see him in that light. THis is the only kind way I see to come to the inevitable natural course of the disease and without a doubt he is ready.

Ethete ball players are at state tourney-"last one to leave Ethete turn out the lights" but both boy's and girls lost their games yesterday so a few might stay home this time. Looks like it is Wind River this year-that would be nice for a great ball team.

I had a good visit with the granny of the little boy in Riverton who needs a liver transplant-they are looking at a 5 year waiting list. SHe told me Tianna was her hero and I must call Josie and get them together-it would be fun and Tianna could help the little boy just with her smile.

Shy came through-Moses is proud. I'll put in photos next time. GOd is good!