perhaps another day

In looking for future lodging for my partner I have just not gotten my soul ready for the commitment as yet. Tonight I will call the neighbors from across the road together and hold a small family conference. With a little more help I feel that I can hold things together for a short time longer and need to do that in my heart. Yesterday I had lunch with my friend whose husband went to Sheridan to the veterans home two days before. She was gleeful, already giving away his clothes and cleaning him out of the house. Perhaps that made me reflect on the facts that the move is one way and the end. I do not wish to postpone the end, but I do want to keep the quality of life the best that I can for my partner until the end. I owe him that. His quality of life is so limited by the disease that I hate to take away his favorite chair, the company of his cat and the security of the cookie jar right around the corner. Sally, sweet Sally, is only available for the 4 hours per week now, and senior citizens may have some staff to offer me at a later date. There is a care giver available at 12.00 per hour whom I have not met, but she seems to be game. Altho other things have become more difficult, he is sleeping more and that is a plus considering that lambing is coming up soon. Nursing home facilities would not be close to home and I am sure the children would not visit him nor would I-he doesn't know us, but he does enjoy a friendly face. I will just keep doing my best for one more day.