what to do what to do

Rereading my old blogs-it seems to help me try to fall through the "days of our lives". The family meeting never really happened-I did call Guy the other day when his dad was absolutely crazy and I went outside -came back in-went outside-came back in-the following day I called Judy and asked her to please try to keep her dad occupied on the phone for 20 minutes-she of course failed. She did ask me how my week was, and filled in the word "trying"for me-an interesting word, I said. Britt stopped by on Saturday-first he had showed up since shearing. He had stories to share but I mostly went outside and did my sheep chores-if I feed after I put the sheep in the barn I can load up the next days hay and I actually have two days ready to go. That way only a few minutes once every other day is sufficient for someone to watch Rasty. Today no one came or called, but good old Janet came yesterday and gave me time to chore and shower-she is a blessing and I wonder if she doesn't wonder where Guy is most of the time. SHe tries to do her part. Wednesday is Sally day and I'm going to Rasty's doctor that day to talk about the future. Some days are a peice of cake, but the life I am living is no life and lets face it-no one but me and my blog buddy know what goes on. Tomorrow I have to get him in the dreaded shower-always a big fight and both of us hate it. Urination happenes whenever wherever at night-just a few hours sleep at a time accompanied by wild dreams. I can't concentrate on anything-and at the same time I am so fearful. I hate alone, buy yet I am alone now in most ways. NO, I have my friends, a few, but the very best friends that a person could have. I am not alone. And I have Jessie, who lays by me and goes from room to room with me. She is now so afraid of Ratsy, and even barked at him yesterday.

And I have my first lamb-lost the white one of a set of twins, and the black one is not hardy, but the mother refuses to be jugged and is too big for me to sideline-a very flighty two year old-so I let her take it with the bunch to the corral feed ground. Cinnamon put up a fight for it-trying to steal it. She closely examined the baby, and then wondered where it's neck was, and it's legs, finially giving it back to the awaiting mother. God thank you for the animals. Thank you GOd for the friends, and thank you GOd for the many many memories of other times.