and the beat goes on

Sally, oh sweet Sally came yesterday. I had chores to do in Lander, and what a great time. I saw lots of my rez friends and got hugs and hugged back! How I miss my friends there. I want to go to a Chiefs basketball fame this winter. Been trying to find a place for my sweet husband, but to no avail. I have learned lots in the last few days-each telephone call leads to three or four more but I am finding the people who are smart, or have the phone numbers for those who are smart anyway. As for assets, they have to have been in place for 5, count em- 5 years. I did find a source for more home help and will check on that today. Partner isn't good outside anymore as he can't follow instructions and just takes off randomly even when he isn't mad now. The sheep may once again become a problem, but they try to hard to be good and not ask for much. For now I can work around naps with them, and I fugure Polly will come live with me at lambing if I let her. Rasty has no idea where, who, what when or why when he awakes in the morning. Will and Veronica have been coming, and both are so good with him. They are great kids. will call a "staff" meeting soon with Guy and Janet.

move on

We made it through Thanksgiving. Son Pat showed up yesterday-first time since Labor Day, and stayed about 30 minutes. He broke down for awhile, I told him to stay strong and gave him a hug. Surprisingly he didn't ask about the horses-I was glad. Polly came with the best leftovers-really made us a great bunch of plates, olives, cranberries, pie, cheese, sweet potatoes and of course turkey- even a drumstick. Janet had to help me early in the morning Thanksgiving as Rasty headed off east "going home"-that devil can move fast when he is moved. That shuffle is a running walk-like one does when falling forward, and it covers the ground. I fortunately had him headed back in the right direction by the time she got here. That was during the better part of the day-it was hell all day for the last two days. Tonight I got him onto the bed-not into-and he refused to undress or take his glasses off. I don't care-I am tired-so tired and I don't care. Janet and Guy came over this morning and he was prince charming-that even makes me madder. I am reading ELDER RAGE-Someone take my father-and the author makes light of the tough stuff but at least I know there is someone else who understands the Jekyll-Hyde thing. I was sure I had two wolves in the field east of the house early this morning, Hollis said they were coyotes though-they put the run on Moses. They were huge-when I first saw them I thought they were deer, very dark, and didn't move like coyotes. I'll keep watch, and the sheep have been staying up by the house-now I know why. They could have also been the remnants of the dog pack that killed Pete. Hollis assured me the "we'll get um". I love Hollis.

Perhaps tonight rest will come. It is full moon and that's not a good sign, but I have all the windows covered. We'll try.

and we still have our humor

Just to show you how good we are-this morning was met with disaster as far as the cat was concerned. Another hit was taken to the cat box, the back porch, behind both bathroom doors and the waste paper basket in the bathroom. Found it somewhat disconcerting, as I had mopped the floors late last night to have a clean house when Sweet Sally came today. Well, now for the humor. As I was picking up my partners room I had to laugh out loud-yes, out loud. In a heap on the floor was a prayer shawl that was a gift from one of the daughters. At the time I had thought-yes-that will really help. It will see that the ironing is done, the toilets cleaned, the supper cooked-yes-this will do the trick. As a matter of fact, as I picked it up I noticed that it felt quite chilly, a little heavy and had a recognizable odor to it. Forgive me Lord, but I laughed out loud.

MY Sally day was a lifesaver. For the first time I could go slowly from errand to errand, and enjoy shopping and visiting. I saw my friend at social security, a good man with a kind heart and strong family ties. He was only somewhat helpful, but sent me to senior citizens where I found a wonderful nurse who has worked at Morning Star Manor in the past. She was so helpful, and so understanding. She suggested that I paint the toilet seats black so my partner can see them-but what about the prayer shawl- I didn't ask. She also felt that the time had come, and we parted with a big hug and she felt she had helped me, and I knew she had helped me. My next step is to contact the Morning Star, then the doctor-who is also the nurses doctor. I got two books from the library-Elder Rage and The 36 hour day-both highly recommended and will try to read them as I can. I'm going to do a Christmas letter to the kids and recommend the books to the kids, but I'm not saying what I have planned yet-we'll wait to see what availability is. At this point my partner has no idea who he is, who I am or where we are. I don't see how it can matter now, sadly.

Hollis and Will were here for dinner-what a joy it was. They chit chatted about trapping, trips and people they both knew-a lively exchange and I was so glad Hollis let me feed him-that never happens. Will is a sure bet for supper if he is working here, and the deck is nearly done, but tonight it is getting snowed on. I told Rasty we would have to think of things for Will to help us with after the deck is done just to keep him around for company. He is good to Rasty and tries to involve him in the conversation.

Guy sent two loads of third cutting hay to me for lambing-oh boy! It is nice hay and we will put it in the barn a little at a time as needed. That will probably work best. The sheep are looking pretty heavy and it won't be long now. I can hardly wait.

Well looks like Steve got outta here just in time as it is winter now. The snow is flying and the temperature has dropped-ouchy cold. Tomorrow it is long johns at our house. We will sit quite for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year but I am going to decorate the deck with boughs of holly-or-something!

new offer

My dear friend Steve has taken off in a cloud of Wyoming dust, headed for those Florida beaches. How I will miss him-his cheery hello's, his nice tricks of stopping by with dinner, surprises, treats for the doggies and various sunshine that he spreads, not to mention his kind and caring and knowledgeable advise. Seems that our mutual friend Paula has stepped up to the plate, as she wrote me a nice email offering to do errands from town or helping with chores. How sweet that was, as she has 3 children of her own -each one at a very busy age, a big house and a husband to care for. Nice to know that I still have an ace in the hole if things get bad. I know she is sincere and will be here if I call.

Just a sleepy day today-really low key and that was good. I was terribly tired and perhaps tonight I can get some work done after partner goes to bed. Beautiful weather with a storm on the way.

one armed paper hanger

My poor friend Norma-she had her husband who suffers from Alzheimers and parkinsons as well, all set to go to Sheridan to the veterans home for a week. She broke her right arm and is in a cast from her fingers to above her elbow. Sadly, she did it three weeks ago and due to bad doctors just got it casted two days ago. She will be wearing the cast for at least 6 weeks and her life is extremely hard cleaning up after her man. All the arrangements were made and she had a driver for the trip, him packed and the paper work ready when he refused to go. She is not able to care for him now, and was at her wits end. She chose to leave him and move in with her sister. He is unable to care for himself and has become lost three times in the last two months and fallen and could not get up once. Her only choice would have been to have him put in restraints and taken against his will. What an awful thing this disease is as it robs judgement. He will have forgotten all about it if she goes home, but she won't forget about it, and cannot care for him anymore. To say heartbreak is to greatly understate the situation-now what will happen next?

Relieved

Well,,,,,I was relieved to know that there are absolutely no prostate problems at our house, noticed a good solid stream happening at the foot of my bed about 3 this morning. Jessie was less than pleased, and left to find rest elsewhere. This alzheimer stuff is not for sissies! Had a nice visit with Polly yesterday, who stopped for a few minutes, and then a visit with Steve before his departure to Florida. The Arapahoes never say goodby-just "later" and we are looking forward to his great blogs and seeing him in the spring. He brought me a survival kit that contained all the necessary ingredients, even honoring my lass than tasteful request-didn't know it came in a bottle that big-but it will be a lifesaver when I do need it. Thank you Steve, and may your winter be blessed with all the good things you and Buster deserve.

First born daughter stopped by Thursday, and it was nice to see her dad and her sitting on the couch side by side. I never realized how much they look alike till then. They enjoyed each other-and it was good.

THE deck is nearly finished, and Steve and Rasty had a good laugh over showing the deck off. I just wish it was May instead of November, but the days have been warm and already I have gone out there for a few minutes rest from the monotony and I can check on my partner from the window. He will enjoy it as well, and it will have a door on it so he can't wander off. The best part of the deck has been visiting with Will while he is building it-he is a dear soul, and an old soul with much wisdom for his age. He has been great with Rasty, who has "helped" every day that Will has weorked. I love to call him my son-in-law and brag on him-he deserves it.

Sweet Sally will come for me on Tuesday as she is busy on Wednesday. I have no plans but a shoping spree at WalMart-that would be great. I want to get Christmas lights to put on the deck and some new shirts for my partner, who has gotten a tiny tummy.

Often times I think of my dad and how easy he was to care for, how he was never cross and cranky and how hard he tried to stay with us even though he felt so bad. He cared for my mother all by himself for years, and she was always mean and snyde to him, and he never complained. I am feeling so much guilt for not being able to help him with her, as the miles separated us then. He was a trooper and I hope he is enjoying his rewards now.

Friend Norma is taking her husband to Sheridan today to the home there. She tried as long as she could to care for him, but now a broken arm has her unable to keep up. She has a week respite care for him there, and I hope they will just make room for him permanently as she is exhausted and loosing heart. THis is not for sissies, and she is no sissy but it has taken it's tole.