and the beat goes on

Sally, oh sweet Sally came yesterday. I had chores to do in Lander, and what a great time. I saw lots of my rez friends and got hugs and hugged back! How I miss my friends there. I want to go to a Chiefs basketball fame this winter. Been trying to find a place for my sweet husband, but to no avail. I have learned lots in the last few days-each telephone call leads to three or four more but I am finding the people who are smart, or have the phone numbers for those who are smart anyway. As for assets, they have to have been in place for 5, count em- 5 years. I did find a source for more home help and will check on that today. Partner isn't good outside anymore as he can't follow instructions and just takes off randomly even when he isn't mad now. The sheep may once again become a problem, but they try to hard to be good and not ask for much. For now I can work around naps with them, and I fugure Polly will come live with me at lambing if I let her. Rasty has no idea where, who, what when or why when he awakes in the morning. Will and Veronica have been coming, and both are so good with him. They are great kids. will call a "staff" meeting soon with Guy and Janet.

move on

We made it through Thanksgiving. Son Pat showed up yesterday-first time since Labor Day, and stayed about 30 minutes. He broke down for awhile, I told him to stay strong and gave him a hug. Surprisingly he didn't ask about the horses-I was glad. Polly came with the best leftovers-really made us a great bunch of plates, olives, cranberries, pie, cheese, sweet potatoes and of course turkey- even a drumstick. Janet had to help me early in the morning Thanksgiving as Rasty headed off east "going home"-that devil can move fast when he is moved. That shuffle is a running walk-like one does when falling forward, and it covers the ground. I fortunately had him headed back in the right direction by the time she got here. That was during the better part of the day-it was hell all day for the last two days. Tonight I got him onto the bed-not into-and he refused to undress or take his glasses off. I don't care-I am tired-so tired and I don't care. Janet and Guy came over this morning and he was prince charming-that even makes me madder. I am reading ELDER RAGE-Someone take my father-and the author makes light of the tough stuff but at least I know there is someone else who understands the Jekyll-Hyde thing. I was sure I had two wolves in the field east of the house early this morning, Hollis said they were coyotes though-they put the run on Moses. They were huge-when I first saw them I thought they were deer, very dark, and didn't move like coyotes. I'll keep watch, and the sheep have been staying up by the house-now I know why. They could have also been the remnants of the dog pack that killed Pete. Hollis assured me the "we'll get um". I love Hollis.

Perhaps tonight rest will come. It is full moon and that's not a good sign, but I have all the windows covered. We'll try.

and we still have our humor

Just to show you how good we are-this morning was met with disaster as far as the cat was concerned. Another hit was taken to the cat box, the back porch, behind both bathroom doors and the waste paper basket in the bathroom. Found it somewhat disconcerting, as I had mopped the floors late last night to have a clean house when Sweet Sally came today. Well, now for the humor. As I was picking up my partners room I had to laugh out loud-yes, out loud. In a heap on the floor was a prayer shawl that was a gift from one of the daughters. At the time I had thought-yes-that will really help. It will see that the ironing is done, the toilets cleaned, the supper cooked-yes-this will do the trick. As a matter of fact, as I picked it up I noticed that it felt quite chilly, a little heavy and had a recognizable odor to it. Forgive me Lord, but I laughed out loud.

MY Sally day was a lifesaver. For the first time I could go slowly from errand to errand, and enjoy shopping and visiting. I saw my friend at social security, a good man with a kind heart and strong family ties. He was only somewhat helpful, but sent me to senior citizens where I found a wonderful nurse who has worked at Morning Star Manor in the past. She was so helpful, and so understanding. She suggested that I paint the toilet seats black so my partner can see them-but what about the prayer shawl- I didn't ask. She also felt that the time had come, and we parted with a big hug and she felt she had helped me, and I knew she had helped me. My next step is to contact the Morning Star, then the doctor-who is also the nurses doctor. I got two books from the library-Elder Rage and The 36 hour day-both highly recommended and will try to read them as I can. I'm going to do a Christmas letter to the kids and recommend the books to the kids, but I'm not saying what I have planned yet-we'll wait to see what availability is. At this point my partner has no idea who he is, who I am or where we are. I don't see how it can matter now, sadly.

Hollis and Will were here for dinner-what a joy it was. They chit chatted about trapping, trips and people they both knew-a lively exchange and I was so glad Hollis let me feed him-that never happens. Will is a sure bet for supper if he is working here, and the deck is nearly done, but tonight it is getting snowed on. I told Rasty we would have to think of things for Will to help us with after the deck is done just to keep him around for company. He is good to Rasty and tries to involve him in the conversation.

Guy sent two loads of third cutting hay to me for lambing-oh boy! It is nice hay and we will put it in the barn a little at a time as needed. That will probably work best. The sheep are looking pretty heavy and it won't be long now. I can hardly wait.

Well looks like Steve got outta here just in time as it is winter now. The snow is flying and the temperature has dropped-ouchy cold. Tomorrow it is long johns at our house. We will sit quite for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year but I am going to decorate the deck with boughs of holly-or-something!

new offer

My dear friend Steve has taken off in a cloud of Wyoming dust, headed for those Florida beaches. How I will miss him-his cheery hello's, his nice tricks of stopping by with dinner, surprises, treats for the doggies and various sunshine that he spreads, not to mention his kind and caring and knowledgeable advise. Seems that our mutual friend Paula has stepped up to the plate, as she wrote me a nice email offering to do errands from town or helping with chores. How sweet that was, as she has 3 children of her own -each one at a very busy age, a big house and a husband to care for. Nice to know that I still have an ace in the hole if things get bad. I know she is sincere and will be here if I call.

Just a sleepy day today-really low key and that was good. I was terribly tired and perhaps tonight I can get some work done after partner goes to bed. Beautiful weather with a storm on the way.

one armed paper hanger

My poor friend Norma-she had her husband who suffers from Alzheimers and parkinsons as well, all set to go to Sheridan to the veterans home for a week. She broke her right arm and is in a cast from her fingers to above her elbow. Sadly, she did it three weeks ago and due to bad doctors just got it casted two days ago. She will be wearing the cast for at least 6 weeks and her life is extremely hard cleaning up after her man. All the arrangements were made and she had a driver for the trip, him packed and the paper work ready when he refused to go. She is not able to care for him now, and was at her wits end. She chose to leave him and move in with her sister. He is unable to care for himself and has become lost three times in the last two months and fallen and could not get up once. Her only choice would have been to have him put in restraints and taken against his will. What an awful thing this disease is as it robs judgement. He will have forgotten all about it if she goes home, but she won't forget about it, and cannot care for him anymore. To say heartbreak is to greatly understate the situation-now what will happen next?

Relieved

Well,,,,,I was relieved to know that there are absolutely no prostate problems at our house, noticed a good solid stream happening at the foot of my bed about 3 this morning. Jessie was less than pleased, and left to find rest elsewhere. This alzheimer stuff is not for sissies! Had a nice visit with Polly yesterday, who stopped for a few minutes, and then a visit with Steve before his departure to Florida. The Arapahoes never say goodby-just "later" and we are looking forward to his great blogs and seeing him in the spring. He brought me a survival kit that contained all the necessary ingredients, even honoring my lass than tasteful request-didn't know it came in a bottle that big-but it will be a lifesaver when I do need it. Thank you Steve, and may your winter be blessed with all the good things you and Buster deserve.

First born daughter stopped by Thursday, and it was nice to see her dad and her sitting on the couch side by side. I never realized how much they look alike till then. They enjoyed each other-and it was good.

THE deck is nearly finished, and Steve and Rasty had a good laugh over showing the deck off. I just wish it was May instead of November, but the days have been warm and already I have gone out there for a few minutes rest from the monotony and I can check on my partner from the window. He will enjoy it as well, and it will have a door on it so he can't wander off. The best part of the deck has been visiting with Will while he is building it-he is a dear soul, and an old soul with much wisdom for his age. He has been great with Rasty, who has "helped" every day that Will has weorked. I love to call him my son-in-law and brag on him-he deserves it.

Sweet Sally will come for me on Tuesday as she is busy on Wednesday. I have no plans but a shoping spree at WalMart-that would be great. I want to get Christmas lights to put on the deck and some new shirts for my partner, who has gotten a tiny tummy.

Often times I think of my dad and how easy he was to care for, how he was never cross and cranky and how hard he tried to stay with us even though he felt so bad. He cared for my mother all by himself for years, and she was always mean and snyde to him, and he never complained. I am feeling so much guilt for not being able to help him with her, as the miles separated us then. He was a trooper and I hope he is enjoying his rewards now.

Friend Norma is taking her husband to Sheridan today to the home there. She tried as long as she could to care for him, but now a broken arm has her unable to keep up. She has a week respite care for him there, and I hope they will just make room for him permanently as she is exhausted and loosing heart. THis is not for sissies, and she is no sissy but it has taken it's tole.

Some time the best things just show up

I visited Lynda and Polly last night and they have a new dog-a guardian of the flock-they thought it belonged to a neighboring sheep outfit and it didn't-he's very skinny and very shy-but went right to work at the Drift Fence Sheep Company. Their llama is quite upset and has taken his place between the dog and the sheep. They wanted to give me the dog, if it can be caught, but I think this fellow knows where his home is, and he is there. SO often in life the best things just show up. My dear adopted daughter is like that-she adopted me years ago when she showed up at the "little blue house" at Arapahoe. She has spent so much of her life filling my life with joy. Shelly just showed up one day and has been a wonderful part of my life ever since. We don't always know what we need in our lives, but there is a bigger plan. Bad things also just show up, but for a reason, to teach us. Every thing that comes to us has a lesson for us, if we only take the time to listen. The moral of the story is never , never overlook those things that come your way. Things that are not the establishment are often intriguing, invigorating and fulfilling. They also seem to be my favorite.

And these few precious hours

A beautiful day-chilly this morning-I broke the ice on the water before I let the sheep out for the day. Partner was up with a smile on and so he helped with chores, got a shave and is napping. Yesterday was fun-kids came to steal wood but no time to visit, but that was okay as Steve came to retrieve his wonderful hat and helped us with the Oriental Palace left overs. He got tickeled at Rasty's newly acquired table manners- but we had a good visit. We always have a good visit as he knows how to get a laugh and a smile out of Rasty! Later that afternoon our deck builders showed up to measure and recalculate the new placement of the ramp. They visited and stayed for supper and helped me get the dreaded pill down partners gullet. My ebay has taken off, with good sales and encouraging emails from lookers. First born emailed to say how busy she has been with work and of course church and Halloween, but perhaps Wednesday---I advised her that I quite understood as I had juggeled schedules with work, family, husband and life for all the years I was luckily enough to have my father. Neglected to add the band of sheep and bum lambs but I think she got the picture. I then advised her that we were, however busy on Wednesday. My father would say that I had a long tongue and sharp nails. probably so. It is their loss as there are few precious hours and perhaps I don't want to share with those who are not worthy. At this point it is my choice.

The deck

Big and Beautiful Day

Where to start- THe night before was a no sleep night-partner up and down and I finially gave up on sleep about 5 a.m. and opted to stay up and see the sunrise. Guy Janet and Steve were bringing dinner-that much I knew and I was looking forward to it, and Rasty was too when I reminded him about it. The day started off slowly, and we got shower and shave done and the chores. We just went oh so slowly and quiet and then WOW! The great crew arrived to work on the deck and ramp. Veronica, the boys and Will came with smiles on faces and tools in hand. They got started and we got Rasty outside to help. Veronica is so good with her "dad"-having lost both her parents she understands the value of old folks, and as an elementary teacher, she is just wonderful showing and telling and making all well with Rasty. SHe gathered him up and they were building the deck. I loved it. Will is a man pf few words but many smiles and a kind heart like Veronicaa-they are good together and he is so good with her boys. It was great to see everyone happy and working together. Steve and Guy and Janet were bringing supper, and Steve had called to see if the builders were here earlier and I had said no-I called and he laughed and said-"the more the merrier"-part of what I love about him! He brought the entire oriental Palace to our house, and Janet and Guy probvided desert and the party was on. Steve made me believe that I had sneaked my birthday by him-not so! He is the most thoughtful gift giver, and replaced my Martha Stweart grilling kit with great tools-we laughed and giggeled. I even have a tool belt and new tape measure, along with a brand new needle nosed pliars-not not to worry-I now have a complete new nice barbeque set of tools that would put even Martha Stewart to shame-ablolute shame. The chain on our gate, which seems to grow shorter every time it is opened and closed, not has three-count em-three new links on it-thanks again Steve. Soon all were full and happy and Rasty was ready to "hit the sack"-but he didn't know where the sack was" we disbanded. As I looked around the kitchen, which Janet had cleaned up for me, I saw it. Remimded me of the geenie who comes, does good deeds and then is gone with only the hat left and a tiny puff of smoke-

Mary

The joy of youth is something to behold. What fun it is to watch our cria-she delights in the pidgeons. She first follows them at a distance, then pushes them around with her nose. After she tires with that, she makes a fast run at them watching them fly. I know that one day she will take a run at them, then fly off too. She and the lambs have yet to play together, altho they do eat together now and the ewe doesn't get after her anymore. Cinnamon is feeling so very good,even she bucks and jumps when I let her out of the barn for the day.

THe deck is four big boards now-with lots of lumber stacked up and ready to go. I think today is the day, as Will can borrow Veronica's boy for a "gofor". Steve and the kids are bringing dinner tonight, once again spoiling for before Steve's departure next week.

Norma's husband ran away and was found by troopers in Natrona after receiving a call about erotic driving. Luckily, a trooper was coming from there to here, and delivered him to his front door. Today she has to go fetch the van-which I told her not to bring home. Her days are going to be harder now as she doesn't dare let him drive again. Rasty doesn't get into the vehicles and try to drive like he used to-just the last two weeks he has stopped that. He used to try to start them without a key, and pull out every knob and turn on every switch while he was there. When I started the pickup the radio would be blairing and the wipers going, the emergency brake on and it would be in 4 wheel drive.

It was very hard on Dode to see his dad Wednesday when they brought dinner. Rasty went into the bathroom, after I showed him where it was. He closed the door, and didn't come out for a long time. When I checked on him he didn't know how to get out of the bathroom, and Dode was so sad. The difference must be so hard on the kids who don't often see him. Bridgett is just sunshine-she is an old fashioned girl, sewing and gardening and mothering. A delight and I am so glad that Dode has her. Hope he hangs on to her.

THe sun is getting ready to come up, and we are going to make this a good day-

a little more time

A good day-each day that is good is so enjoyable-managed a short ride-to the Fort and home with a good look at those mountains on the way up. I am thankful to have a friendly market so close, and we always manage to see a smile or two from an old friend there-we didn't really need groceries, just the ride. Guy, Janet and Hollis came to visit, and Hollis gave me his washer and dryer, and even installed them and hauled the old away for me. Talk about brownie points---He is good to me and so good to his Grandad. I must find a way to spoil him. He comes over to visit occasionally and brings a little sunshine when he does. Watched the cria play with the pigeons-she and the lambs haven't really visited much-they are a "gang" and don't really race around the corral like she does-perhaps when they get a little older they will. SHy made a run for her this morning, and mama llama ran her out of the corral then ran to me, as I was still at the barn door, wanting in the barn. I cought Shy and tied her up-this is the first morning that I let Shy have the opportunity to be bad and she was. Rasty had a pretty good day, making it through the activity pretty well and not stressing at all. I had to show him where the bathroom was each time today-he gets like a puppy-very nervous-then goes to the door and I ask him, and then I show him and all is well. I can do it. He called me by name once this week, and the only children he mentioned by name were Guy and Ronnie. Each night he talked about going home, but was satisfied when I told him we would stay here tonight. He no longer misses Elllen at night-for which I am relieved as that was a rough one. He rearranges the furniture but doesn't hide things quite as much as he used to. THis morning he got dressed all by himself and did a good job. He hasn't tried to start the truck or the car for over a week, but can't open and close the front gate without help anymore. THe bad days still have a not wuite so bad days to follow it-makes things a little easier. It is good we can still go outside for walks and chores-we both enjoy that. One day at a time.

leaps and bounds

It is leaps and bounds, but they are backwards. We are no longer socially appropriate. THe cat is furious-at first I thought the cat box was leaking-it is more than he can handle. Poor old cat. We did get out for a ride yesterday- just a beautiful day with high Wyoming skies and nice cool, but not cold air. Off to Lander for sweet feed for the animals and dog food, a trip to the library and then to McDonalds. We got shakes there, and my poor partner would put the straw in his mouth and tip the cup up at the same time. Luckily, the shakes were chocolate, and he had his brown vest on. THe highlight of the trip for me was the Ethete post office, where I saw so many smiles and got so many hugs. I had hoped to take Rasty there for Haloween as the toddlers come trick or treating, but it was too foggy. When we got home he hurried to fill a bucket with sand that he raked up from under a tractor-he was furious with me and I'm still not sure what he wanted. First born child called to see if I wanted her to come over this week one evening-she teaches school and comes from 5-6;30. I told her that was nice of her, but it was chore and dinner time so made it difficult for me to do anything then anyway and suggested she try Saturday-met with silence. I told her Ijust needed to get to the feed store, but instead we got it done today-no need to worry. Guy, Janet and Hollis came Halloween with sugar cookies and smiles and visits. THe boys are fencing off the silage pit getting ready for the cows to come home. The ramp crew is supposed to be here this weekend-if they come it should be fun. Had a good visit with Jenny-she pledges suppport. Poor Katie is in trouble, she got a B in spelling-told Jenny to lighten up. She sometimes sounds like my mother-I spend so much money and time on private school and she gets a B???? I remind Jenny that she took dumbell spelling at Casper College. I also reminded Jenny of her teacher who said she expected perfection and knew that she was perfect. I think she lightened up. Sometimes I wish I could try at being a parent one more time, but them I sober up.

THe sheep are being perfect, and Rasty does enjoy watching the cria play during the day. Her weakness is corn-she now lets me scratch her back-quickly-very quickly! I love her, and I told Katie she was softer than a teddy bear-"thats pretty soft" she said. Kaycee told me she was "fantastic".